KIDDIE PERFORMERS

I know that making kids laugh and entertaining them is a noble deed. Every child should laugh and have lots of stimulus and be inspired to be creative and blah blah… but does it have to be done within these parameters? I mean really. Kids love attention funny noises and goofy faces and yes they dabble in sing-a-longs but please stop with the Broadway dance routines and fake rock concerts. It smacks of a “gig” that these performers are begrudgingly involved with in the hopes that one of the parents comes back stage and says “Look here see, I’ve got a Broadway spectacular see, you would be perfect for it… and I mean PERFECT!”
That may satisfy their career aspirations to show em’ what they got but as a result the world is left with a bunch of kids kicking out their feet and singing show tunes. Suddenly the kids have morphed into an out of work theatre person, with tobacco stained fingers and Colt 45 on their breath and that is a bummer.

P.S. Parents:  If your kid goes to school singing this boogie-woogie ditty they will be reduced to kiddie ashes by the entire school population

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6 Comments

  1. rusty Says:

    those performers all creep me out.

  2. peewee herman Says:

    the only thing gettin blown there are those kids cocks

  3. Lupus Says:

    Gotta be Christians. That’s the only possible explanation.

  4. Anonymous Says:

    This is just awful across the board! and all the expensive production too what a WASTE

  5. Chachi Says:

    The clip stopped at the perfect moment.

  6. Melodramatic Facial Expression Says:

    Is that where the chick from Roxette has ended up.

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July 3, 2009 12:00 pm


This person is going to chew you up and puke you out but you’re not a man until you’ve: had your heart broken, broken a heart, had the shit beaten out of you, and beaten the shit out of someone, so you might as well get this first part over with.

★★★★★★★★☆☆

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July 3, 2009 4:31 am


Are the words “J.A.P.s in July” in any Broadway songs about how great New York is? They should be.

★★★★★★★½☆☆

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