STREET BONERS and TV CARNAGE » TWENTY GUNS TO MY HEAD

It cannot be easy to concentrate with twenty guns to your head. No sir… not at all. I can only imagine you would start fucking up and over thinking things. Like when someone is leering over your shoulder, breathing down your neck while you are working at your computer and you start opening up the same folder over and over. Or do the guns just become redundant after three or four are staring you in the face, so you become the most together you ever have been? So relaxed in fact, you just turn and say; “ENOUGH ALREADY! JESUS H. KRIKEY!”

This entry was posted on 05.05.08 at 2:29 pm by Derrick Beckles. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 2.0 feed. You can E-mail it to a friend.

7 Comments

IDIOT Says:

AS COOL AS THE OTHER SIDE OF THE PILLOW!

05.05.08 at 3:05 pm
dinco Says:

i’m starting a new band. it’s called turbo turban. anyone want to join?

05.06.08 at 6:02 am
muthafutha Says:

i had a gun in my face once, and i tole the guy, “Hey, Relax, homes. Me and your ole lady were doing rails- Not bumps, Okay.”

the fucken pussy was forced to listen to reason. she was hot, though.

05.06.08 at 12:32 pm
Haze Says:

turban king just doesn’t give a fuck

05.07.08 at 8:39 am
SPITTIN' TEETH Says:

you knew he was bad-ass the moment he screamed at that dudes gun

05.07.08 at 10:17 am
Echo Effect Says:

In a situation surrounded by guns just duck and then all the guys will shoot each other.

05.07.08 at 11:39 pm
Pras Says:

Dustin Hajijjjman

01.12.09 at 1:26 pm

STREET BONER 1118

Just to be clear, this is not a hole in her tights. It’s a hole in the ass-time continuum that will swallow your entire paycheck if you go near it.

E-mail it! | 28 Comments

STREET BONER 1117

I love being gorgeous, working out, playing music, and making that crystal clear to as many people as possible beyond any shadow of any possible doubt.

E-mail it! | 14 Comments

STREET BONER 1116

And there it is: the magical, crazy, powerful, nut-tangler that is black socks with heels.

E-mail it! | 29 Comments

STREET BONER 1115

If you get a girl home and you can’t get it up, eat her out — but know it had better be perfect or it’s all over. You’re basically hanging by your tongue off the edge of a cliff made of pussy.

E-mail it! | 17 Comments

STREET CARNAGE is mostly a website that features street fashion critiques called STREET BONERS and compilations of bad television called TV CARNAGE. The site also has a blog, a radio show, and regularly features video shorts made by Gavin and Derrick.

STREET CARNAGE is also a live presentation you can have in your town where Gavin shows a Street Boners "Best Of" and Derrick shows his latest TV Carnage endeavors.

STREET BONERS will eventually be compiled into a huge book which will feature hundreds of pages of Boners as well as contributions from Chloe Sevigny, Debbie Harry, Fred Armisen, Tim & Eric and many more.

Derrick makes videos for various bands as well as his own movies. His most recent project is called "Cop Movie" and is comprised of about three dozen different cop movies and he also has a workout video coming out that is made up of a million disgusting workout tapes. Gavin does freelance writing for TV, film and magazines and they both do funny acting stuff as well as other hilarious video shit we'll tell you about later. They are both dicks.

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