STREET BONERS and TV CARNAGE » WE SHOULD BAN “UPSTAIRS”

We should really look onto banning “upstairs”.It serves little purpose and going upstairs is just an exercise redundancy. Think about it, it’s the first floor with different shit and maybe a wall or two changed around. We’re not really fooling ourselves and the cost of maintenance can be exorbitant. More importantly, going upstairs in every horror documentary I have ever watched only gets the person killed. Murderers love upstairs, it’s like a moth to a flame, a trucker to a teen prostitute. Now we learn we wouldn’t stand a chance sitting upstairs on a bus! What’s next upstairs at as strip club? Let’s just do away with upstairs. Let’s refer to it as the U-word and move on…but not up.

This entry was posted on 07.07.08 at 11:27 am by Derrick Beckles. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 2.0 feed. You can E-mail it to a friend.

7 Comments

You know what... Says:

that was fuckin hilarious.

07.07.08 at 12:39 pm
Janie Says:

I’ll remember to sit at the VERY back from now on. Cheers.

07.07.08 at 1:31 pm
stevienickelback Says:

Ofissshhhh lafffsssss. I am a moth to a flame to this fucking site. When are you 2 gonna be on a flag…fag?

07.07.08 at 4:51 pm
tinaturner Says:

i wanna watchit over and over and over and over and over and over again…it doesnt get any less funnie.

07.07.08 at 7:31 pm
melor Says:

lame, it would be funny if it were an accident

07.09.08 at 1:02 pm
winter of discount tent Says:

looks like the camera stood a pretty good chance

07.10.08 at 1:03 am
ehhhh Says:

there couldnt be a more perfect clip.

12.05.08 at 12:07 pm

STREET BONER 1121

Dude, Ché only executed 2,000 people. If you’re into communist genocide and you’re sick of Mao and Stalin, go for Pol Pot. He did 2,000,000.

E-mail it! | 16 Comments

STREET BONER 1120

Helmets are a great way to say, “I’m another one of these pussy retards that fell for all that gay safety shit.”

E-mail it! | 25 Comments

STREET BONER 1119

This gives me a boner the size of Mars but I’m a sucker for old guys in Inca hats.

E-mail it! | 21 Comments

STREET BONER 1118

Just to be clear, this is not a hole in her tights. It’s a hole in the ass-time continuum that will swallow your entire paycheck if you go near it.

E-mail it! | 45 Comments

STREET CARNAGE is mostly a website that features street fashion critiques called STREET BONERS and compilations of bad television called TV CARNAGE. The site also has a blog, a radio show, and regularly features video shorts made by Gavin and Derrick.

STREET CARNAGE is also a live presentation you can have in your town where Gavin shows a Street Boners "Best Of" and Derrick shows his latest TV Carnage endeavors.

STREET BONERS will eventually be compiled into a huge book which will feature hundreds of pages of Boners as well as contributions from Chloe Sevigny, Debbie Harry, Fred Armisen, Tim & Eric and many more.

Derrick makes videos for various bands as well as his own movies. His most recent project is called "Cop Movie" and is comprised of about three dozen different cop movies and he also has a workout video coming out that is made up of a million disgusting workout tapes. Gavin does freelance writing for TV, film and magazines and they both do funny acting stuff as well as other hilarious video shit we'll tell you about later. They are both dicks.

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